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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24259447">What Would I Do Without You?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/judysharding/pseuds/judysharding'>judysharding</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dead To Me (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Hospitals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:33:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,658</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24259447</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/judysharding/pseuds/judysharding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The crash has taken place and Jen isn’t doing too well. Judy is left panicking about whether she’ll make it or not, and doesn’t know what she’d do without Jen in her life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Judy Hale/Jen Harding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Would I Do Without You?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Possible trigger warnings for car crash/injuries/hospitals.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was too late before Judy noticed the car speeding towards them from Jen’s side. The vehicles collided and Judy was thrown into the window as Jen shook like a ragdoll before ending up with her head hanging over her lap. </p><p>“Jen? Jen. Please say something. Jen!” Judy pleaded as the blonde lay motionless in the drivers seat. Judy gently placed her hand on Jen’s arm to try and garner a response but nothing. Blood was pouring from her forehead from hitting it against the steering wheel in the collision. </p><p>Judy tried to look around to see if anyone was near but her head was spinning and her neck was in pain. She fumbled for her phone amongst the mess between her feet whilst letting several tears stroll down her rosy cheeks. She managed to grab it and immediately dialled for the emergency services. </p><p>“911, how can we help?” responded a kind sounding woman from the other end of the phone. </p><p>“Hello, I need an ambulance and the police. My friend and I have just been involved in a car crash where the person drove off and I... I don’t think my friend is okay.” she gave the location of the vehicle and started sobbing. “Oh my God. I don’t think she’s... Jen? Jen!?” her voice became more panicky as the seconds ticked on the dashboard clock. “I don’t think she’s breathing, please help me!”. </p><p>“I need you to take deep breaths for me, ma’am. What’s your name?”. </p><p>“I-it’s Judy. Please help...” Judy started taking deep breaths like the lady asked her to, her voice trembling as she responded. </p><p>“You said your friend isn’t breathing. Can you check for me, my love?” Judy put her phone screen under Jen’s mouth and nose to try and check whether she was breathing. It took a few seconds, but the phone screen streamed up and Judy felt a sense of relief. </p><p>“She’s breathing! She’s breathing. Thank God. How far away are you?” </p><p>“The first responders are just a few moments away, but I’m going to stay on the phone with you until they arrive, okay?” she nodded, forgetting that she couldn’t be seen. </p><p>It was only a few minutes, that felt a lifetime, before Judy could hear the sirens. </p><p>“They’re nearly here, Jen. Please hold on for a few moments more, please.” her free hand stroked Jen’s hair gently. </p><p>The paramedics and police pulled up next to the vehicle and two people rushed over, one to Jen’s side, one to Judy’s. They immediately started asking what happened and Judy told them everything. The paramedic checking her over touches her neck and she winces. </p><p>“I’m okay, honestly. I think it’s just whiplash. Please focus on Jen, I’m okay.” she asks. The paramedic obviously refused as it’s their job to care, but they reassured Judy that Jen will be taken care of and that she’s in the right hands now, but that Judy also needed to be looked after because she could have concussion. </p><p>They asked Judy if she could get out of the car by herself. They had their hands either side of her head, keeping her neck stable as she stepped carefully out of the vehicle and was lead away to an ambulance. </p><p>“I don’t want to leave her alone, please can we wait?” she said from the ambulance. She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Jen alone. Not now, not ever. The paramedics waited until Jen was loaded into the other ambulance before heading to the hospital. </p><p>Once arrived, Jen and Judy were separated, much to Judy’s annoyance, but Judy knew that it was necessary for Jen to get the right help. Judy was taken into a separate room and checked over where it was found that, other than a few bumps, bruises and scratches, the only thing wrong was that she had whiplash. She was told to rest so she laid on the bed thinking about Jen and how she was. </p><p>I hope she’s okay... God. This is all my fault. I suggested the car for Charlie, now look where we are. It should be me in Jen’s place. She doesn’t deserve this. What if... what if she doesn’t wake up? What am I going to do without her? Oh God, what about the boys? They’re too young to have lost their dad AND mum. I’m so stupid. So stupid. I should’ve been looking out. I should’ve been paying more attention. All I do is ruin people’s lives. Chaos follows me everywhere I go. All I do is try to be a good fucking person but I seem to fuck it up every single time. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be here. </p><p>Tears started rolling down her face as she began to hit herself. She winced when she hit a bruise but kept going because she thought she deserved it. She ran her fingers through her hair and scrunched it as she reached the roots, hanging her head between her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. </p><p>A doctor walked in mid breakdown and calmed Judy down. She was told that there was no need to keep her in overnight as her injuries weren’t serious and were being treated and was given prescribed painkillers with some pamphlets on how to deal with her whiplash. </p><p>Before leaving, Judy called the boys. She let them know that they had been involved in a car accident and that she was unsure on how their mum was doing, but that she would find out as soon as possible and get back to them. She told them she loved them and that they shouldn’t worry. But she knew that wouldn’t be the case because even she was panicking more than ever. </p><p>Judy collected her things off the chair and walked into the corridor. She managed to find her way through the hospital, despite it looking like a maze, to the reception where a short, tubby woman with glasses sat behind the desk. Judy thought she looked like a librarian, but daren’t say a thing. </p><p>“Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find someone? Her name is Jen Harding, we were in a car crash together but we got separated. I need to know if she’s okay so I can tell her sons.” she asked the woman behind reception. The woman, whose name badge read ‘Susan’, nodded and started typing frantically like she was on a mission. Judy wondered if they were taught to type like that to get things done quicker. </p><p>“She’s currently in ICU, my love. Are you family? We can’t let anyone other than close family in, unfortunately.” Judy bit her lip, feeling guilty for what she was about to do as her heart was too pure. </p><p>“Y-yes. I’m her... I’m her partner. I need to see her so I can let our boys know their mum is okay. They’re only young.” Judy pulled her puppy dog eyes that she knows works so well on Jen. Jen would be proud of her for being mischievous and sneaking into ICU through lying. </p><p>Susan directed her to ICU and Judy had to make her way through the maze again. She passed the maternity unit on the way and waved to the tiny babies as she passed. She still hoped she could have kids one day. She was thinking maybe either surrogacy or adoption. But that wasn’t important right now. She needed to get to Jen. She needed to know she was okay. </p><p>Once she arrived at ICU, she had to give her name and relation to Jen before being allowed in. A doctor showed her to Jen’s room and let her in. She was warned that it might be a bit frightening seeing her for the first time, but that Jen was in capable hands and should recover fully. </p><p>Jen was put into induced coma so they could focus on her injuries, such as her punctured lung from the rib that got broken from the force of being launched into the steering wheel. She had breathing apparatus attached to her. She looked like something out of a sci-fi movie. Judy started welling up again. She kissed Jen’s forehead, stroked her hair and pulled up a chair next to her bed before placing her hand on top of Jen’s and squeezing it. She stroked her thumb against Jen’s bloody knuckles. </p><p>“Hi, it’s me. Judy. I don’t know why I said that, you know who I am.” she chuckled lightly, “But, I’m here now. I’m going to stay here until you get better. I promise. I’m not going to leave your side.” she gently kissed Jen’s hand. She rested her head against the side of Jen’s body and felt herself slowly drifting off. </p><p>A few hours had passed and Judy was awoken to alarm bells ringing. A swarm of doctors and nurses rushed into Jen’s room and ordered her to leave. </p><p>“What’s happening? What’s happened? Why are you making me leave? What’s happening? Jen? Is Jen okay? Jen?” the panic swept back in as Judy was pushed outside the ICU room to watch through a pane of glass as Jen’s heart monitor was practically flat. The doctors and nurses saved no time in ripping off the clothes on Jen’s chest and applying the compression pads. </p><p>“You have to help her! You have to help her!” Judy was screaming through the pane of glass at the doctors who very clearly could not hear her. “Save her! Please! You can’t let her die!” she was banging on the glass by now. She started hyperventilating, not being able to catch her breath between sobs. </p><p>She dropped to her knees as she heard the long, flat beep. </p><p>Time went slow. Everything around her was moving at half the speed. All Judy could do was sob on her hands and knees as a nurse comforted her by rubbing her back. </p><p>What was she going to do now? </p><p>Now that Jen was gone?</p>
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